i had the best sleep last night (only just woke up *yawns*)...it was definately a much needed rest..
i had the most amazing dreams, and for the first time in forever, it was an amazing dream that did not revolve around her..no siree...i dreamt about meeting a girl...falling in love...and being deliriously happy...it was kinda sappy, but i woke up with such a smile on my face and such a wonderful feeling in my chest...so yeah

i was going throuh some old uni folders last night and i found one from 2001, and inbetween all my notes about respiratory acidosis and the components of urine, i found the most adorable little photo of her..i had completely forgotten it was in there..but i remembered putting it there because her face would inspire me to study..bleh..anywway....
i guess my point is, that i've done some soul-searching lately...especially the other night while i was laid up in hospital...i've been thinking about me and my life and where it's going and how much of a fucked-up headspace i've been in lately...and i know i like to think "oh i'm so not over that girl"..but i am...i must be...i've moved on and done so much over the last year. but a few weeks ago i just hit a bump in the road...i dunno what it is...it can't be sam herself that i'm hungup on...i think i'm just searching to find something similar...to find the contentment and happyness that i shared with her..which really, despite all the crappy times, was pretty fucking awsome..
i want someone to come home to and cuddle..to crawl into bed with and tell stories of my day to..
the other night, ali and i jumped in her bed to watch harry potter...and i fell asleep all curled up with her and it was just so nice. i mean, it could have been with anyone and it would have been just as nice...but it got me thinking how much i really miss that intimate physical contact. it's not a sex thing (ok..sometimes it is *L*)...but i just miss having someone to share with.
does that sound pathetic???
cuz really, i am embracing the pathetic label thesedays..

but enough of this...ali and i need to go to work for some CPR training..



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