i have not been very hungry for the last few days, but about an hour ago i developed the most ravenous appetite that i've ever experienced...and am currently munching my way through the best chicken schnitzel burger that i've had in a long time...which reminds me, shit, i've double booked myself tonight *squirming*...mum's making me this big "welcome home (again) dinner"..and i've also got plans with kate and ant...oops...maybe if i can convince mum to have an early dinner here, i will be almost empty enough to enjoy the second course at kates *laughing*..i'm obsessed..
anyway..
the grrl...
i love her..
she has my heart..
i hate that so much needs to change..
and i don't know if it ever will..
she told me she is miserable without me, and i honestly believe her..*sighs*..
i have always wanted to grow old and nutty with her...but so many things get in our way...look at yesterday...*sigh*.. how can i ever make things right between sam and my mum?? my mother is an impossibly stubborn aquarian..and sam is an equally impossibly scorpio...can it be done?? mmmmmm..
i know i turn into a badd ass mo-fo and get all "i'm never going back near her again"...but really...who am i trying to kid?? i love her.. she loves me.. we drive each other crazy.. but.. it feels right..
last nite i was all "i'm gonna go fuck around again and that way she'll never have me back"...but i know i couldn't do that..apart from the whole spitting issue..doing what i did last time with nancy was such a mistake..and i still feel guilty. i couldn't imagine ever doing that again..