there is nothing i hate more than having my opinion asked for, and then having that opinion totally disregarded...

which is what the grrl did to me tonite...

she asked me why i felt so insecure about the whole ex issue...she asked me what it was i disliked about the ex...

i told her, as simply and honestly as i could...and it made matters worse...

she thinks i'm overreacting..
i think the ex is a sneaky little cunt..

for almost 2 years this person has had nothing to do with us...and now, out of nowhere she's the fucking golden child...her and the grrl are constantly chatting together online...and she's forever sending the grrl SMS's...and i'm sick of it.
i'm all for the grrl having friends...but i do not like this one in particular (and i have my reasons)....nor do i like how almost obsessive it

all seems...afterall, how would it seem if after 2 years of no contact, this ex came back with a vengance?? or who knows, maybe i'm just being an ass....either way, they're my feelings and i have a right to feel and express them..

tonite proved to me that the grrl truely does not care for my thoughts or feelings, anyway..
she does not listen to me long enough to find the true meaning...instead, she feels i wont be happy until they cease all contact...which is not what i want...*frustrating sigh*

tonite, the grrl told me "i thought everything was alright with us...we had a good weekend....had sex....it was all looking up..."...
it's not about sex..
or me finally getting to go to the zoo..
or us being able to share some laughs...

it's about me feeling fucking insecure and NOT AT ALL liking her new little best friend...

but the grrl heard none of that...for all of my talking, all she managed to decipher was the bit where i was being an unreasonable asshole who was acting like a child..

so SHE rolled over...

because OBVIOUSLY i was not giving HER the ANSWER SHE wanted...

so fuck it..

from now on, i will ignore this new little play-mate of hers, and their constant communication...and i will just go on as if nothing at all bothers me...and when she asks me to talk to her, i either wont...or i will make some shit up to keep her happy...afterall, it simply seems like i need to tell her what SHE wants to hear..

but this truth is..

i feel insecure..

i do not trust this person...

i do not like this constant communication

and i do not care if i seem like a freak for letting this get to me, because my little green monster doesn't often surface, but when he does, i take notice.
and if my grrl keeps on refusing to take notice, then that's fine...

but next time her little green monster surfaces, i won't bother doing anything about it.

and the funny thing about all this is, the grrl kept comparing this situation to my little *thing* with alison a while back - but she forgot to notice how i no longer have much to do with alison because i know how it makes her feel...sure, it took me a while to realize the pain i was causing, but at least i finally did...

but the thing that really eats me up...is that the grrl has mentioned my new found issue with ex's to this ex, and i can see her sitting back almost gloating...

oh well..



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